Reflection on Time

It is 6:10 pm and nobody is here. Do I have the right day? Is this the correct field? You run through a list of questions in your head as your daughter asks over and over, where is everyone daddy? You pickup your cell phone and call your wife, who is darting across town trying to get your other child to practice, “I forgot to tell you that the official time was changed to 6:30” she says. Why I ask. Because all of the parents were having trouble getting their kids to practice at 6:00” she says and then a quick “we are here, gotta go” just before she hangs up the phone.

On a “good day” you can get out of work at 5:30, make the 30 minute drive home, grab your daughter at the house and get her to soccer practice by 6:15…today you have made it 5 minutes before that. It is the same for all of the parents it seems and you had noticed that very few kids actually made it to practice at 6:00 – changing the time makes sense but we will start running out of daylight in a few more weeks and then what?

For our family and countless others this was the typical weekday scenario. Parents foregoing dinner entirely until late in the evening, the kids getting fed between homework and rushing off to their next appointment, it was rare that we ate a meal together and even rarer that we actually sat down to a home cooked meal and spent time together at the dinner table.

For the past year we have not had to fight with soccer practice, basketball practice, dance, piano, or any of the other countless activities that our kids were involved in and can enjoy a meal together. In fact, we can eat 3 squares a day, every day, as a family.

I was reflecting the other day on some of the things that I will miss when we return to the states this fall, and I hoped that spending time as a family for meals would not be one of those.

I have cooked more this past year than I had the previous 10 years combined, there are lots of things in our lives like that all the result of additional time to do these things. Sitting down as a family for dinner is primarily a function of time…not having any or not allowing this in your life.

I think it is normal to romanticize about times when life was simpler and slower but I wonder if there is not something to wanting things a little simpler in our lives. Is it unreasonable to sit down as a family for dinner? Is it unreasonable to actually have the family cook their meal and not simply warm it up?

I also wonder if our kids will romanticize about a “slower pace of life” when they are older, and if their memories will include mom and dad rushing in for work to grab them before heading off to soccer practice…what will these times be like?

We have had some great experiences traveling this past year, seen amazing sights, met wonderful people, but for Gina and I what we have loved more than anything else is the slower pace of life South of our border. We have a luxury that we are not fitting life between jobs or countless other activities and most of Latin America values time differently than most of us in the U.S.. We are still getting use to not having a waiter bring you the check until you ask for it – here it is not about “turnover” and getting as many diners in and out to maximize profits – or to accommodate families that are rushing from one place to another, no, it is customary for diners to spend hours in a restaurant. Enjoying a meal with family and friends and then lingering…enjoying the company and conversation as well. If you were to “hang out” in a restaurant in the U.S. you would probably get some stares from the wait staff – we get those same stares here when we ask for our check after only 45 minutes of dining.

I as recently asked whether we were ready for the faster pace of living in the U.S., and the short answer is no. However, part of me is looking forward to the challenge of seeing if we can live closer to the pace we have experienced this past year amid the hustle and bustle of the states. Can we control or vigilantly prioritize all of the demands for our time, or will we be swept up a river of busyness?

I hope we can stay above water and hold onto a little bit of it…

Want to read more from Sean?  He also writes for AffordableCallingCards.net where he blogs about his life as an expat.   Come by both blogs and share a comment!

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